The groom’s wedding speech will follow the best man. Traditionally, it’s only the men who speak at a wedding, unless one of the fathers is unable to attend or is deceased. More contemporary weddings are including speeches from the Matron of Honor and Bride so make sure you know who will be speaking at your event.
Unfortunately, the best man often sees a wedding speech as the perfect time to embarrass the groom. Be prepared for any stick situations ahead of time. Have a contingency plan and listen carefully both to his speech and the reactions from guests.
One of the worst scenarios is when the best man has had too much to drink, or if you have had some sort of falling out ahead of time. If you combine both of these then you could be in for some drama. It’s the groom’s job as the man of the hour to fix it.
If you can, try to proofread your best man’s speech before it’s recited. This way you might have the chance to remove any damaging words he might intend on sharing. It is quite common that the best man won’t let you do this, so perhaps ask your father or someone similar to do so on your behalf.
When this is not possible, be prepared. If specific people are offended in the speech, then try to say something positive about them specifically by name. It’s best not to turn the event into a slinging match of ugly words between you and your best man so just try to focus on everyone else, and for everyone who suffered a negative comment or anecdote, offer up something lovely instead.
In the case of your best man revealing your true and negative feelings about certain people – particularly the new in laws or bridesmaids, cover yourself by saying that he’s making assumptions and your new in laws are actually fantastic people and you’re excited to join their family.
Stories of your past, before your wife, are also uncomfortable for her and her family to hear. If these are revealed and you’re embarrassed, you have two options. First you could offer up yourself – explain just how dumb and inconsiderate you were, until your bride came into your life and changed you. Alternatively just blame the best man. Say it was him and he has it confused.
Overall you need a backup plan just in case your best man offends. If you’re particularly concerned about this then maybe you should look for someone else.
