More often than not, a wedding is a formal occasion and your language and approach to the speech should be the same. This is not a quick comment in front of friends but all of your combined family and should be treated accordingly.
With a wide age range likely to attend as well as many different belief systems in attendance, it is best to keep your language fairly formal and constrained. Don’t swear repeatedly throughout even if this is your normal talking style. You’ll find your own family will be impressed at your control, your new wife will appreciate the consideration and her family won’t realize that you have a potty mouth.
Treat your bride as if she’s the first and only love you’ve ever had for the purposes of this speech. Even if she knows your full romantic history, her family is unlikely and won’t want to hear about how close you might have been to marriage before now. Even if this is a second or more wedding for you, pretend like this is the one and don’t mention it being better or more real than any previous marriages – it is best to just act like they didn’t exist at this point.
If there is someone who couldn’t make it, or chose not to, deny their existence completely. Don’t make any comments about the disapproving father or friend who bailed on you. Don’t comment on disasters that may have occurred leading up to the day. Instead focus on the good things and the people who have attended.
Keep the alcohol to a minimum until after the speeches are done. No one will believe a word you say if you can barely get your words out. Slurring words and swaying on your feet will not win you any fans, and you’re more likely to just embarrass everyone. If you’re nervous, instead keep your speech short and get some sound bites out that will sound sincere but let you get the process over with quickly. Don’t compensate with alcohol, ever.
If you decide to write a funny speech then keep it clean. There is a line between funny and inappropriate and you cannot cross this. It’s a somber, formal and romantic occasion so a few jokes are fine but don’t talk about your sex life or anything that older guests may not want to hear.
Try to see your speech through the eyes of the oldest and most conservative guest in attendance, and make sure it passes the test.
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