The groom is expected to present an entirely inoffensive, heartfelt and sincere speech. Sometimes this can be harder than it seems – especially when looking at modern families and relationships. Fifty years ago weddings were fairly straightforward, and the biggest issue was usually whether or not the bride was pregnant – easy to avoid completely in the wedding speech.

These days there are lots of little tricks and hurdles that can pop up and make it difficult to compose a speech that will be inclusive and accepted well. If you or your bride has divorced parents, things can get complicated. If you add in the step parents to the mix then you’re looking at potentially 8 parents to thank, without offending any of them.

One of the best ways to do this is to thank the biological parents and then their partners on each side. The order should be bride’s mother, father, their partners, your mother, father and their partners. This means everyone is included in the thanks but your parents will not feel like a new partner gets higher billing. It’s much more personal if you name partners, as this makes them feel like they are as important as anyone else who is thanked specifically. If all parents and their spouses get on well then you might think it’s ok to thank couple by couple, but don’t. Even though it may appear like it’s fine to do this, there are chances that the biological parent who goes second could feel a bit offended.

Same sex parents can sometimes cause conflict too, especially if the other family is conservative. However, they need to be acknowledged just like any other couple and if you’re concerned about offending the other parents, then perhaps a good idea is to sit down with them ahead of the day and explain that they get equal billing as the two people who raised you or your bride to be. You don’t need to refer to someone as your mother, just by name is fine.

There are many more issues confronting the modern groom but the best thing to do is try to find a way around it ahead of time, and don’t go into the process with your fingers crossed, hoping for the best.

If you’re a fairly modern couple or having a more informal wedding, then you can look at giving an alternative to the standard formal speech groom’s are often expected to offer guests. There are a few things you can do to make them interesting and personal.

One thing you can consider is having a combined speech between bride and groom. While some modern couples will give separate speeches from both sides of a marriage, you could look into doing it together. This way you can offer a speech that is like a conversation together, for the benefit of guests. Offer up anecdotes and stories from your relationship or the planning of the wedding and present both points of view. This can be extremely successful if you’ve got some very different ideas on how and why certain things occurred. Make sure you don’t cause a fight and practice it together so you know what the other is going to say ahead of time.

If you have a fairly small wedding, you can involve your guests. Perhaps ask them for one word to describe you and get your new wife’s response. Turn your speech into a game of sorts and by using the involvement of guests you’re less likely to bore them, even if you run over time. If people consider you and your wife to be opposites you can match up the corresponding personality points to show just how perfectly you balance each other.

If you want to go all out, look at props. In some scenarios this may not work but if it does it can be entertaining and everyone will appreciate you for it. Perhaps you have things around at home that signify different parts of your relationship. Lead guests through a very condensed history and use the props as you go.

One good story can include the stress of the engagement ring. Men will agree, women will love hearing of your distress and your bride will know just how much effort went into finding the perfect symbol of your engagement.

Make sure you are considerate no matter what. Always end with something sincere and loving about your new wife. Don’t degrade her or anyone, and don’t embarrass her. In any speech finishing this way is important, and gives an added touch of romance to the situation.

Comedy writing is a lucrative business, but you do not have to be a professional to come up with a sweet and amusing speech for your wedding. There are a few basics you can include to get the audience appreciating your effort and your bride confirming that you have a sense of humor.

You need to decide if a funny wedding speech is appropriate – if you’ve just had an Orthodox wedding and your guests are fairly solemn religious types then you might need to be careful. Any jokes you write must be sweet and essentially complimentary of the bride, without any crass humor or information about your personal life included.

The absolutely worst thing you could ever possibly do is insult your new in laws. These people have welcomed you into their lives and family, and have allowed you to marry their daughter. You need to tread carefully and if you do use humor don’t use it with your in laws. Perhaps you can mention that you have heard horror stories from others, however your own in laws are fantastic – this is about as humorous as this part of your speech should get.

Try to avoid clichés if you can, unless they are perfectly true to your situation. Don’t try any obvious jokey comments – especially those that might ask questions of your audience – they won’t know how to respond.

The best way to bring humor into your speech is to look for funny moments in your relationship that are family-friendly and have a positive and/or sweet outcome.  These will both entertain and warm the hearts of your guests and give insight into your relationship without revealing too much. If you’ve had bad advice you can use it to show how perfect your bride is and how good it was you didn’t follow it. It’s best to avoid anything that reflects negatively on anyone except yourself.